Recent content by ProfessorHawk

  1. ProfessorHawk

    2005 at Coral Rtidge Mall

    It must've been November of 2005. Coral Ridge Mall. Walking in with the wife and she saw him.... Wife: "Is that......?" Me: "Yep. It sure is." Wife: Duh blah blah herp durr. Me: "Hey, Coach." Him "Hey." Reaches for the pen I don't have in my hand to sign the autograph I don't request...
  2. ProfessorHawk

    The stench of death or the sweet smell of de feet?

    Cap'n Kirk is sailing...sailing....takes me away to where I always thought it would be....
  3. ProfessorHawk

    The stench of death or the sweet smell of de feet?

    "Hey! These floors are dirty as hell and I'm not taking it anymore!" It's good to have nice things. Like the Giza pyramids. Like a granite tombstone. The new football Ops facility is like a monument to the human past.
  4. ProfessorHawk

    Rudock and Michigan

    Ruddock has led rather a charmed life. It might have done the lad some good to learn how **** tastes before setting his sight on a bottomless cup of Chateaubriand and bouillabaisse through a backdoor escape hatch. I recall in my youth we called such things "character-building experiences"...
  5. ProfessorHawk

    What's our non-conference record this year?

    2-2 NC with a treading-water 6-6? Will they free Willies? (wait....they did that already, inelegantly at that) Will the good ship Ferretz torpedo Beathard, removing its face surgically to spite the nose? I feel almost as though I am rubbernecking at a mass-casualty event at a faculty senate...
  6. ProfessorHawk

    Appropriate Analogies for Iowa Football 2015?

    Much like the head football coach at The University of Iowa, I must admit, I basically got nothin'. Jon and Deace appear to have regarded Kurt's latest presser in much the manner evinced by the Titanic's string quartet as the vast ship floundered and sank. ("That's football, I got nothin'")...
  7. ProfessorHawk

    Advice for Bear Grylls....err... Ruddok

    Dear Ruddok: The endzone is in back of you and in front of you at Michigan, too. I doubt you will be more beloved there for throwing sideways than you were here. But have your tantrum, little one. It is all about you, after all. Best, Dr. Prof
  8. ProfessorHawk

    It matters how we win. If you can't see that, check out now and read no further.

    Hello again, fellow Hawkeyes. I just had another tome to share. My wife kicked me off the desktop, and the security features I have running on my laptop prevent standard formatting. So protest not, for Res ipsa loquitur. It matters how we win. And I cannot even now, very now, shut off the...
  9. ProfessorHawk

    FootballScoop

    If that's supposed to be Dante, then it should be "ch'entrate"
  10. ProfessorHawk

    I have NO idea how to account for the decline, obstinacy, chippy quips, etc.

    Rome was neither built nor burned in a day. I think the caution befits the potential for 7 years of suck, a la Michigan post-Carr and Debraska post-Stolich.
  11. ProfessorHawk

    I have NO idea how to account for the decline, obstinacy, chippy quips, etc.

    The aura of doucheness is strong with this one...and several others. I'll avoid posting from my laptop AMAP, just to please ya'll.
  12. ProfessorHawk

    I have NO idea how to account for the decline, obstinacy, chippy quips, etc.

    I'm glad you don't think I DID. I tried that.
  13. ProfessorHawk

    Steve Deace's Line Of The Week

    Wow. I agree, but I also know now is not the time the coaching staff wants people going off-******. This IS sensitive. Geez, it's only OUR Hawkeyes at stake, or more at-stake. It isn't like the coaches told them, "Hey, let's go out and embarrass ourselves."
  14. ProfessorHawk

    I have NO idea how to account for the decline, obstinacy, chippy quips, etc.

    "Something is also wrong with the word-wrap on my end, so forgive the absence of paragraphs and indent." Yeah, I typed that above. And some things require more than soundbytes to express, manno.
  15. ProfessorHawk

    I have NO idea how to account for the decline, obstinacy, chippy quips, etc.

    Didn't I address that above? My word-wrap is not working. I stated that, quite clearly. Thanks


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